Unwanted Visitors...

I wake with my heart in my throat, my palms sweaty, the room icy cold. Steven is completely unaware of the night's interruption, curled up on his side, blankets cocooning him from bad dreams.

I quietly roll out of bed, ignoring their icy disapproval, put my robe, and start the kettle for a cuppa' tea. The kettle sings a cheery song- an incongruous sound against the weight of their combined mutterings. I pour my tea, and now fortified, take a seat and begin listening to their heart songs.

Hissing whispers fill the room - I cannot separate colors from sounds yet. Fact from opinion, history from imagined meanderings. Anger and fear flood the room, spilling my tea, and covering my universe in a sea of sad bewilderment. 'How did I get to this?' he mutters. 'Where did my family go? Why am I all alone?'

'He did this to me, to us!' she silently shrieks, reaching out with transparent claws to wound him even more deeply than he does himself. I simply sit and listen, giving them a chance to be heard, and to hear one another. She reaches out longingly, wanting to comfort his pain as much as wound him. Her longing for him goes unheeded. He can't see beyond his own pain to notice hers. I doubt if he ever could...

Weeping now fills the room, her anger spent at last, and at last she drifts away from me, amorphous as mist, her sadness a lingering perfume in the room. I wait for him to finish his cup of denial, and watch as he too leaves me alone and shivering in the aftermath of their emotional storm.

I pour out the remaining dregs of my tea, and wearily make my way back into the warmth of our bed, curling up with my Steven, glad we are ok with each other, and ourselves in this world, at this time.