A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.

- Winnie the Pooh

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Kid Speak their truth about conception and birth...*giggling*

One afternoon, waiting in the car with the three kids while my husband ran into the store to grab a few groceries, I listened in on a philosophical discussion that Meg, Matthew, and Laura were having. It involved pregnancy, and childbirth.

Our eldest, Megan, asked her two siblings what they thought about pregnancy, and women giving birth. Matthew and Laura were quiet for a few minutes, and suddenly Matthew answered loudly,"I think it is gross. If Mom got pregnant, I wouldn't even want her to come to school. People would know that she and Dad had... you know! S.E.X. EWWWWW!"

Laura looked thoughtful, and presently replied," Well, I don't know why you'd be embarrassed Matthew. Everyone's parents have to do it to get a baby. Our parents did it three times to get us, after all."

Megan looked at her sister, and asked, "What do you mean they did it three times? How many times do you think they have to do it to make a baby?"

Laura, looking puzzled, and vaguely worried now, said "Well, you get one baby every time you do it, right?"

Megan and Matthew shook their heads in a very pitying way. "No Laura", Megan said condescendingly. "They had to do it lots of times to get even one baby."

Laura looked absolutely horrified. "They what?!?" she screeched, forgetting I was even in the car. "They had...you know, S.E.X. a bunch of times???" (She looked as if she was going to vomit.)

"Yep." Megan replied sagely. "It takes lots and lots of ..you know... to have babies."

Laura gagged, and said, " Everybody has to do "it" a lot alot to get a baby?"

Megan and Matthew nodded. Laura was quiet for a few more minutes. I could see she was really trying to think this through. Then she looked even more ill, (if that was possible), and said in a thick voice, "That means Gramma and Papa had to....Oh I just can't even say it! That is just too gross to even think about!!!!!"

I snorted, and they all three glared at me. "You were eavesdropping Mom. That's rude!" Silence reigned in the car until their father came back.

As we drove home, the conversation began again, same theme, but different topic. Laura off-handedly said, "Y'know what I think? I think babies are borned through your belly button. You undo it, and the doctor pulls the baby right out!"

Matthew, full of righteous indignation quickly answered. "Nuh uh. Babies is barf-ed out. All womens barf 'em when they gets out a baby". (Steven and I were snickering by now. We couldn't help it!)

Megan, glaring at us from the back seat, only replied cryptically, "You're both wrong, but I ain't gonna tell you the right answer. It's even grosser than getting the baby in there to begin with!" *snickering*

That ended out little discussion group for that day.

I reminded Meg of that day and those topics right after she gave birth to our beautiful grandson, Johnathon. She glared at me then, too. *giggle*

Kids say the damndest things... Hope you enjoy this story as much as we do.

Friday, February 27, 2009

At Last!! *happy smile*

Megan and the children with be arriving on March 13 in Portland Oregon. We have flight information and everything!! HOORAY! *dancing, singing, and dancing somemore!!*

ttfn! Gina

Saturday, February 21, 2009

From my email... Hamster Birth...*giggling*

Overview: I had to take my son's hamster to the vet.
Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was 'something wrong' with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room.

'He's just lying there looking sick,' he told me. 'I'm serious, Dad.. Can you help?'

I put my best hamster-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little hamsters was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

'Honey,' I called, 'come look at the hamster!'

'Oh, my gosh!' my wife exclaimed. 'She's having babies.'

'What?' my son demanded. 'But their names are Bert and Ernie , Mom!'

I was equally outraged.

'Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce,' I said accusingly to my wife.

'Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?' she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)

'No, but you were supposed to get two boys!' I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).

'Yeah, Bert and Ernie!' my son agreed.

'Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know,' she informed me (again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

'Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience,' I announced.. 'We're about to witness the miracle of birth.'

'Oh, gross!' they shrieked.

'Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?' my wife wanted to know.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

'We don't appear to be making much progress,' I noted..

'It's breech,' my wife whispered, horrified.

'Do something, Dad!' my son urged.

'Okay, okay.' Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

'Should I call 911?' my eldest daughter wanted to know.

'Maybe they could talk us through the trauma.' (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

'Let's get Ernie to the vet,' I said grimly.. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.

'Breathe, Ernie, breathe,' he urged.

'I don't think hamsters do Lamaze,' his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

'What do you think, Doc, a C-section?' I suggested scientifically..

'Oh, very interesting,' he murmured. 'Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?'

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

'Is Ernie going to be okay?' my wife asked.

'Oh, perfectly,' the vet assured us. 'This hamster is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back.' He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

'So, Ernie's just, just . . excited,' my wife offered..

'Exactly,' the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

'What's so funny?' I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. 'It's just that . . I'm picturing you pulling on its . . its. . . teeny little ... ' She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

'That's enough,' I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the hamster and our son back into the car.. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

'I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad,' he told me.

'Oh, you have NO idea,' my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two hamsters: $40.

One cage: $50.

Trip to the vet: $130.

Memory of your husband pulling on a hamster's winkie:


Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day

I know today is a 'merchant's holiday'. However, I think of it as an opportunity to wish my dearest friends and family love, joy, and laughter. So,....

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone! I hope this day is filled with everything and everyone you love, and who loves you!


Friday, February 13, 2009

A True Story...*laughing*

Shrek, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Lopez were all having lunch together. Shrek said, 'I have always thought that I'm the strongest man in the world, but how can I be sure?

Brad Pitt said, 'I'm pretty sure I'm the hottest man alive but I've never had it confirmed.'

Jennifer Lopez agreed. 'I'm told I'm the sexiest of them all, but Sometimes I wonder.'

They all decided that the best way to find out if their beliefs were true was to approach the wicked Queen's mirror to confirm for them whether Shrek was the strongest, Brad Pitt was the hottest and Jennifer Lopez was the sexiest.

They agreed to meet again the next day for lunch to discuss their findings. The next day Shrek walked up with a smile. 'Well, it's true. The mirror told me that I am the strongest man in the world.' Brad Pitt walked in, with a big smile and said "It is true, it has been confirmed that I am the hottest man alive!!' Jennifer Lopez followed last looking baffled and said "Who the hell is "Gina Vance??!!??"

After you can control your laughter... click on 'Forward' and change
to your name ~
Give your friends a good chuckle for the day:)
Have Fun!!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Not a lot to write about today

I have been having quite a bit of pain lately- my fibromyalgia is acting up again...dangit! :o) I am taking it easy and just enjoying the afternoon with Steven.

Matthew and I cleaned up and organized his bedroom yesterday. He gets overwhelmed by any sort of mess, so I have to help him do it one thing at a time. *smiling* He was so pleased at how it came out! He pinned up all of his Star Wars posters all over his walls, and is cleaning a big rug for the middle of his floor. *laughing* Very typical stuff for a teenager. (which he really is).

I'm thinking tonight about making my fried chicken for supper. Steven hasn't had it yet, and I think it is very tasty. Maybe some mashed potatoes, too...and coleslaw, if I can talk him into making it. We have mint tea in the fridge, and I really will get around to baking that zucchini bread today.

It is overcast today, but not very cold out- probably somewhere in the mid to high 40's. The bulbs are starting to peek their wee heads out of the earth. I am so looking forward to spring!

And that is all there is to write about. Boring stuff today. *smiling* I hope you are having a good day, too.

Ciao fer now! and TTFN!


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

An Amusing Megan Story

Meg called me this morning, and related to me her day yesterday. *giggling still* She is soo funny!

She was feeling kinda grumpy anyway- (it's that time of the month, y'know) and decided to make a big pot of rice pudding for her husband. So she went and made it from scratch, expecting her Hunny to be 'Quite Thankful' that she was being so kind and gracious...Until it came out of the oven, looking rather...well, curdled. *giggling* The milk she used to make it had expired a couple of days ago, and she hadn't read the expiration date.

Her husband said, "I can't eat that! I don't want to throw up!" (Which, although was a true enough statement, definitely was not a politically correct one.) *grinning*

Megan became offended, and said, "Fine! I will eat it all myself!" and proceeded to procure herself a huge helping. Somehow, (and we'll never know how!) she managed to choke it all down without becoming ill herself. Her husband watched her anxiously all evening, expecting the worst. Meg, being the stubborn woman that she is, wouldn't allow herself to feel ill. *laughing* And she is fine today. And feels kind of stupid that she over-reacted to his reaction. *giggling*

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, that's for sure. She gets her stubborn temperament from me, and her temper, too. *wry smile*

Have a good day everyone. I expect I will. *smiling*
~ Gina

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

My cat is an alcoholic...*giggling*

Today I heard a loud noise in the kitchen. I naturally went to investigate said loud noise. As I came around the corner, Gulliver, my ginger tomcat, was lapping up the last of a bottle of spilled beer. (Steven used the other half of it the other night in dinner).

I shooed him away, and went to wipe it up, when I realized the greedy pig-kitty had lapped it dry. (I'm surprised he didn't have splinters in his tongue, it was that clean!) I wiped it down anyway, and went to see if he was all right.

I walked into the livingroom just in time to hear him belch, and then trip over his own feet. Yes, my cat was drunk. He shook his head, and got up, and proceeded to fall over again. He meowed loudly (as if it was funny!), and stood up a third time. He managed to stay on his feet- that is until he tried to jump onto the couch. He fell off the couch, and laid on the floor, looking up at me and I swear to you, he was grinning! He belched again, and laid back down. *sighing and shaking my head* I'm ashamed to say I was laughing so hard I nearly wet myself.

I picked him up, and he nuzzled my arm and face with his furry orange head, and loudly purred. I put his furry behind into the bathroom cabinet, and let him sleep it off. *giggling again* When he woke up this time, 3 hours later, he was a GRUMPY KITTY. He sat and bathed, ignoring me completely. As if I somehow made him knock the bottle over to get to the beer!!

He is his normal self now, galloping all over the house, and tormenting the dogs...*giggling again* But I suppose that I will now have to be very careful what I leave out on the counter. I don't want to tempt him too much...*grinning*

I hope you have as entertaining an afternoon as I have!

ttfn~ Gina

The 2 Most Practically Perfect Darlings Ever! *laughing*

Up before dawn

The house is quiet as I sit here typing these words, sipping my coffee. Steven has left for work, and Matthew is still asleep downstairs. I love this hour-my own space to think and ponder about what today might bring, and reflect on yesterday's happenings.

The street lights are shining like small beacons on the ground outside, making the shadows seem larger because of them. Silhouettes of the trees that line the street stand at attention, waving branches in response to secrets that the breeze blows in.

The news promises rain today, a good day for soups, stew, and home-baked bread. I will watch it nourish the earth around me, preparing it for spring flowers and the rebirth of green.

Have a day full of quiet wonder everyone. *smiling*

Monday, February 9, 2009

Welcome to the Mental Health Telephone Help Line...

*Please note that due to a shortage of rooms, today's Agoraphobia Workshop has been moved to the Picnic Area.

If you have short-term memory loss, please press 0.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4 and 5.

If you have short-term memory loss, please press 0.

If you are in denial, please press 6 to confirm that everything is OK.

If you are paranoid, we already know who you are, and are tracing your call right now. We'll get you soon.

If you have short-term memory loss, please press 0.

If you are delusional, please press 7 and we will beam you back to your mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, the voices will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which button you press - no one will answer.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fiddle with the # key until a representative comes on the line.

If you are dyslexic, please press 6996669696.

If you have short-term memory loss, please press 0.

For details of the Anger Management class, please press 8 VERY GENTLY.

If you have amnesia, please press 9 and state your name, address, phone number, date and place of birth, Social Security number, bank account number and your mother's maiden name, then memorize the reference number we give you.

If you are suffering from a guilt complex, you shouldn't have phoned us in the first place and you are just wasting our valuable time.

If you have short-term memory loss, please press 0.

If you are anorexic, your pizza will be delivered within 30 minutes.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up now. No one wants to talk to a pitiful loser like you.

If you are disorientated, please a message leave the bleep after, or before the bleep, or leave a bleep after the message. Or after the bleep. Please tone the wait for.

If you have short-term memory loss, please press 0.

If you have an addictive personality, please press * to repeat this message.

It is a cleaning day

So, that is what I am doing. Scrubbing walls, floors, and the tub. I also have this cool idea for the Pillsbury Baking Contest, so am going to try it out today, and see how it works. *keeping fingers crossed*

It is cloudy and quite cold here today- 25'F. We have a slight chance of snow today, and a bigger chance tomorrow. I am ready for spring. *sighing*

Have a good day all'ya'all.

Ciao fer now- Gina

Sunday, February 8, 2009

A Little Bird Told Me...

It’s true, it did! *laughing*
A sparrow flew into the window, and stunned itself pretty badly. I ran outside to see if it survived the impact, and held it until it had recovered. It took a good 15 minutes, poor little guy. I just kept him warm, and in the dark, until he started moving a bit in my cupped hands.
I opened my hands up, so he could leave at his leisure, when he looked up at me, unblinking, for nearly a minute. I felt his gratitude. He chirped, flew to my head, then flew away.
It was amazing. *smiling* I think I saw God in those little eyes. Some vast consciousness stared into my soul, and didn’t find me wanting.
Have a wonderful day…I will!

This Morning

The grass sparkles like a million cut diamonds covered with frost. I sit here typing these words to myself, thinking how it nice it feels to be here alone with only my thoughts for company. Later, as the day moves faster, I'm sure I will have many heavier things to do- But right now sitting here in the sun savoring this exact moment... I am filled with the quiet contentment that living love brings me.